Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Do you ever wonder?

                  Do you ever wonder how you get sucked into that movie that you "swore" you'd never watch?  I got sucked into the Discover channel's movie "The Flight that fought back."  I try to avoid all the September 11th things.  It just hurts to much to watch.  I believe I am like many people who lost a friend that day.  Unfortunately with 9-11 stuff, it always comes unexpectedly and I never seem prepared for the wave of emotions.  I lost my friend's Rahma Salie.  Both Rahma and her husband Mikey Thodoridis and their unborn child were on American Airlines Flight #11 from Boston.  It was the first flight to hit the towers.  That is one thing that slightly consoles me.  Before 9-11, we were so conditioned to just "play along" with terrorist and let their demands be met, that I don't think that she could have fully known what was going to happen.  I am grateful that Mikey was with her so that she was not alone, but saddened that they both had to die.
      This was the first time I had re-seen the most of the footage that we watched on that horrible day.  It was hard to not watch.  It is just as horrible the second time as the first, except that when I watched the towers swaying the first time, I kept thinking that the people inside them must have had more than enough time to evacuate and that there would not be that many people who died.  Boy was I wrong.   I remember thinking at first that with one plane, it must be a tragic accident, with two planes something must be wrong with our flight communications system, but I became increasingly aware that this was not normal and something was seriously wrong.  By the time I heard the early reports about the Pentagon, I knew something was seriously wrong.
     I am sure everyone remembers how they heard the news.  I got a phone call from my friend Alicia who was late for a play date for our daughters.  She told me to turn on the TV.  The fact that it was Alicia always gets me saddened again, because not quite two years later her husband Peter died in a Navy training operation.  It is odd how the memories of two lost friends are just jumbled together.
        Anyway, I watched the movie and was crying the entire time.  The tragedy of the day and the lingering affects are just devastating.   I have not been able to bring myself to go to New York City, but I know one day I will.  I just have to be ready.  Here it is 8 1/2 years later and I am still not ready.  I am not ready to fully say goodbye.   As for the movie, I have my doubts as to whether the flight was shot down vs crashed by the terrorists while under attack.  I am sure that the American spirit must have provoked the passengers to fight back.  Americans are too fiercely independent to not start fighting back, but I also know for certain our government would NEVER release information about the military shooting down a civilian passenger plane.  It is much easier to have a plane full of heros than soldiers who were responsible for the deaths of American civilians.  I don't think it matters anyway, their tragic deaths were the responsibility of terrorists, no matter why the plane actually crashed.  
      So for Rahma, Mikey and your baby, I hope that you are safe with God, while the rest of us continue our journey here on earth.

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